when the lights disappear

2010-03-24T07:22:00.000-07:00

MY NEW BLOG www.whaddup-5.blogspot.com :D

2010-03-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

oh mannnnnnn so paiseh LOL. HOPE THE AUNTIE FORGIVES ME :D

TODAY IS SO EPIC WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! (L) :D :D

LDG! HAHAHAHA :D

2010-03-08T20:41:00.001-08:00

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2010-03-07T08:08:00.001-08:00

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh asdfoiasdfhdfghadf i suck :(

2010-03-06T11:48:00.001-08:00

if for once,
we could be together,
i'd keep you within my heart,
never letting you go.

2010-03-05T02:11:00.000-08:00

): sigh

2010-03-05T00:59:00.001-08:00

waiting makes me nervous and scared ):

2010-03-04T15:47:00.000-08:00

if there was a chance
i'd like to hold your hands,
to walk with you,
side by side,
just you and me.

if there was a chance,
i'd like to look at you,
to stare into your eyes,
to simply tell you,
how much i want to be with you.

if there was a chance,
to love you,
would you,
would you give me that chance?

2010-03-04T15:01:00.001-08:00

it really doesnt matter..

2010-03-04T12:28:00.001-08:00

happppppppppy

2010-03-03T22:59:00.001-08:00

: D

2010-03-02T10:20:00.001-08:00

cause sometimes i dont think i mean anything to you ):

2010-03-02T06:24:00.000-08:00

2010-02-28T09:19:00.000-08:00

jealousy is a deadly poison, it hurts from the inside so much. coming on and on and on never stopping. _|_! sucks sucks sucks suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks. ):

2010-02-27T11:58:00.000-08:00

i dont know
what to do
what to say

i dont know
how it began
how it happened

i dunno why, i dunno how, but i think i am, i dont dare to say it. i'm afraid. really, i'm scared.

2010-02-27T00:23:00.001-08:00

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2010-02-26T08:29:00.001-08:00

boooooooooo. ~.~

2010-02-25T09:47:00.001-08:00

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ~

2010-02-25T07:38:00.000-08:00

Zzz upset.

2010-02-24T10:47:00.000-08:00

boo, this is gonna be a emo post~ =D for stuff that's going to happen, happening. and happened.

we get hurt because we're too soft. humans are too soft. we bare emotions easily, and act faster then we think. we speak through our actions, true. life is simply too short, and complicated. it is never simple for anyone, if you think you're in deep shit, someone else is in deeper shit then you are.

but what we often think about are stuff that makes us worry. worry for the future, worry because of the past. worry due to the present. worry worry worry. this stops us from performing. to perform one needs confident. and it is that very worries that stop one from feeling confident. this then makes one self-esteem drops.

confidence. what is confidence? pure guts to do something? or is confidence something more? is confidence something that is to be nurtured slowly? is confidence gaining experience?

the truth, is something everybody longs to know, wants to know, but when they know it, may/may not fall into a state of shock, depression. so what is up with this "truth" we seek the truth for knowledge? no, we seek it for comfort. for answer. we want not the truth, but OUR truth. But we shouldnt. we should be open, we need to know the real truth. and not our truth. for sticking to OUR truth is simply naive. reality over fantasy.

the world is filled with so many humans. what makes you and me special? different? our finger prints? the way we look? the way we talk? the contents we talk? the morals we have? or simply the very simple fact that we humans are actually similar. alike. in all kinds of way. regardless of race, religion. from all walks of life. afterall our blood, the colour, remains the same for all. red.

things we think about, things we want to say, things we want to do. we tend to leave them for tomorrow. and the day after. why? because we're lazy? no. maybe. because we're stupid? no. maybe. then why? why do we tend to wait till the very last god forsaken minute to do this stuff? to say this stuff? why why and why? , desperation. in desperation we seek every possible way. we try as fast as we can to do the stuff we are supposed to do. in desperation, a form of energy that pushes us forward. but why don't we have this energy from the start? why?

because we tell ourself each day, each passing second. i'm only -insert age- i'd probably live for another -insert number- years. but what if you've only got one more day to live? what then? what do we do? why can't we do things now before its too late? why can't anyone be true to themself and be who they really are?

afraid, scared, feelings of insecurity. why? why now of all time? times where i need strength, times where i want to feel secure, the things i do will not work, what if i do this then that happens? what if i do this and that doesnt happens? thoughts after thoughts of self-deluding stuff goes through your head. it's hard to fight them out, but fight them out. they are nothing. they mean nothing. dont let those thoughts cloud your very way of thinking. act like how you should be. be who you are. gather courage, gather strength. take a step forward. take a leap of faith. be someone who moves forward, and not someone who stays on the very same spot.

2010-02-24T08:05:00.001-08:00

SOMEONE PANGSEH ME. :(

2010-02-22T06:02:00.001-08:00

IM SORRRRRRRRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =(
(F) =D

2010-02-21T08:49:00.000-08:00

sneezing so much =( am i falling sick? ahhhhhh
sighzxzxzx. kevinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn =( =( =(

2010-02-21T06:28:00.001-08:00

affections. affected. sucks.

2010-02-19T11:11:00.000-08:00

if for once,
using my two legs,
i can escape,
i can run,
i can fly,
to fly,
to soar,
to reach you,

i just need one day,
to make one chapter,
of my life with yours,
for when we collide,
sparks will ignite,

if for once,
i could gather the courage,
for a leap of faith.

what's hidden between the lines,
of truth and lies..............................

GOOD NIGHT WORLD.

2010-02-17T11:25:00.001-08:00

fdsgsdfjgisdfjgidsjgdspogji =( what am i thinking. thinking of stuff like this. what am i doing! D:! i should stop. this is stupid and dumb ! ahhhhhh. rawrrrrrrr whats the point anyway, it'll always ends up like how it started. no confidence to try. so, forget it ~.~

anyway its HOLIDAYS OMG. WOOOO. i wanna sleeeeep play sleeeeeeeep play sleeeeeeeeep play alllll day longggggggg <3 LOL. =D

i'd let go of everything,
i'd let go of you,
i'd let go of them,
i'd let go of the world,
if every moment, every second spent is all that matters,
then we should cherish everything.

mixed feelings.

2010-02-13T19:11:00.001-08:00

waiting for something good to happen is like praying for something that would never come. shall stay away.

happy new year everyone.

2010-02-07T12:07:00.000-08:00

so smile,

a smile so real,
a smile so bright,
light up the skies
with your smile,

forget your troubles,
forget your worries,
and smile,

for all that's left,
is nothing but
just a smile.

if i could, if i may, i would make you smile
so you can make me smile
and we can make them smile! :D

2010-01-22T21:12:00.001-08:00

so little time so much things! zomgz, and i dont think i've got my priorities right yet. HAHA DIE. work piling up :( gg. hate dav.
vernier, I LIKE SLEEPING. I DONT LIKE GOING TO SLEEP. & SO LONG NEVER SEE YOU!!! CB FATTY NEVER JIO ME GO OUT! :( sadded. /wrist

2010-01-20T10:51:00.001-08:00

a war that's never won.
:D

SO MANY WORK SO TIRING. OMG I WANNA DIE! =( I WANT HOLIDAYS I WANT SLEEP.

2010-01-13T11:27:00.001-08:00

afraid to sleep.

2010-01-13T11:19:00.000-08:00

2009-12-31T15:24:00.000-08:00

stoning in yx house! :D poor kevin! he got ko-ed! now suffering =( haahhaha. we had gay party. fuck. :(

2009-12-30T10:31:00.000-08:00

:D reflection of 2009?
2009, has been a crazy year for me.
a year that i will remember throughout my 17 years of life. it moved slowly at first, cause it was enjoyable, and i was happy then, then came the sadness, and sorrow. and then it became even slower, much much slower, like it was mocking me. everything became very very.... sad to me :/
i guess, i became very, down. negative and always asking myself why?
why? why why?

thinking back, i was rather pathetic :D not that i am better off now buttttt, maybe a little!
then things sped up, for my life became a routine. it wasnt a life where you had something to wake up for. it wasnt a life where you had something you wanted. it wasnt a life where you wake up and imagine what your day will be like.

it was a life like none i have ever felt or lived. it was a life where i KNEW what was coming, where it was a routine, where day by day, i see the same things, i think the same things, and i tear to the same things. a meaningless torturing routine, that held me back. kept me imprison.

then things got slightly better when school started, i met new friends, and still had the old one for company. i had my family for consult too anyway. i learnt about my course, did my work, kept me busy and stuff.

but then there was the night time. where the past haunts me. oh well :( who doesnt? (: so i guess i aint really alone. no matter how lonely i felt, there would always be someone with me. and, i felt blessed. to have such friends. :D

then something happened. and it hurted me once again. and then it came back. all of a sudden. it flowed in. hah. i remember, tearing on the way home. holy shit! it was on the bus ride. fuck, how embarassing it must've been :/ didnt dared look around in the bus. hahaha. but after that, no more. i dont wanna get fucked up three times. no shit! i'm dumb but not that dumb! :D

so that leads me to here. today, the present. right now, thinking back on alll the stuff that had happened. i'd say that i'm just a foolish young boy, searching for his home. and i think he's almost home. almost there :D

to sum it up, 2009, is my happiest, and my saddest year!

well, i guess everybody has their ups and down afterall , for how long your happiness last, is when you know what true happiness is. and for me, i'm still trying to figure out, what my happiness will be.

as for you, you were my pride, my loved, my precious, but i guess that was'nt enough for you, you wanted more, but i'm sorry, i can't give it to you if you never even tell me what was it you wanted. so, goodbye :D may we meet again sometime, somewhere, someplace. who knows? i don't even think u bother to check up on me anymore. (:

so, thats that for 2009. good riddance to it, and bring 2010 on >: D

2009-12-28T10:23:00.000-08:00

firstly, merry christmas to everyone. (:
hopefully all of you had a greater christmas then me this year!
2009 to 2010, everything is so fast. zomg. so fast so so so so fast.
so hopefully, everyone had a greater 2009 then me too! and a new year would soon come by!

when all of us are going our seperate ways
will you look back
will you look back
for one last glance
see our faces
remember our faces
for we were once part of your life

life is about connection - a wise guy told me this.
and i believe so, that it is true.

for without connections we have no meaning in life.

in my life, this year. this year, was the fastest one ever. 365 days seemed like a month to me.
it passed by so fast, i wondered what the fuck have i done this few days? and the answer i got was, no fucking idea (:

i like how this is heading.
quite good honestly. not.

so i'll see you at the end of the road,
where we'll meet once more,
for the very last time,
for the very last time,
we'll meet once more,
we'll see each other,
we'll notice each other,
but you'll walk pass me,
and i'll walk pass you,
in another life.

i'll see you at the end of the road,
where the sweet scent that reminds me of you,
will no longer be there,
where all that would be left,
will just be two strangers,
in two different world,
walking pass me,
as i walk pass you,
in another life.

i'll be spared,
in another life.
i'll be spared.

happy 2009 everyone (:

2009-12-19T07:46:00.000-08:00

wooo! happy bday to my grandpa, 80, and my grandma , 75,! :D suprise party was a blast! my grandma cried! HAHA. their face were so shock, epic man. woots. :D so happy. <3 you two :)

2009-12-14T22:35:00.001-08:00

misguided, illusion, disbelief i suck :DDDD! yawn. moron. retard.

so tired, so tired.

just want to sleep my life thru.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

i hate this.

hahahaha

dam i'm so stupid :DD

2009-12-13T11:06:00.001-08:00

the haunting,
it comes in the night,
creeps throgh your head,
little by little,
without you knowing,
before you know it,
it comes like a flash,
so quick, so quick,
not knowing what had happened,
not knowing what had happened.

the haunting,
seeping through the cracks,
in the weak spot it targets,
right on the mark as usual,
it hurts you,
it scares you,
and then it disappears,
as fast as it came,
it went back in a flash,
coming back every now and then,
like a ghost,
like a ghost.

the haunting,
it's coming.

2009-11-30T23:39:00.000-08:00

you'd never know,
what you've done
and that is why,
you'd never know,
what i've gone through

sodontsayyouknowhowifeelcauseyou'venoideawhatiamgoingthrough.
causeiplacedyouwaywaywaydeeperintomyheartthanyoueverplacingmeinyourheart.
thisisthedifference.thisfewdaysallidoiswhineihopedecpassbysoon.
monthsthatcontainmemoryofyousimplyistoopainfulformetogothroughagain.shoomonthshoo.

2009-11-24T10:13:00.001-08:00

things that reminds you of the past, are they good? or are they bad?
things that reminds you of your happy self,
things that reminds you of who you were,
things that reminds you of what you had,
things that reminds you of everything you cherish,
are they good? or are they bad?
for after remembering all that has happened, what's left is the present,
and then there is none of the past but the image of your sorrowful sorrowful self.

sucks. =( why am i starting to think so much at night again. =(
i have none but one thing to say,
fuck this.

2009-11-21T23:03:00.000-08:00

do you know what it feels like to have nothing to look forward too?
:D
when you lie on your bed thinking about tomorrow,
only to think about what you will be thinking about the next day,
and the following day,
where there is nothing meaningful, nothing to look up too,
where everything feels nostalgic.
where the young boy who once wished to fly to the moon,
now wishes to hide at the moon.
for there is nothing much for tomorrow anymore
i sing a song of sadness,
bitterness,
a song of discomfort
a song of disbelieve
a song that says nothing of tomorrow
a song that resides in the heart.
iwonderhowyouare,iwonderwhereyouare,butiknow,youwillnevercomeback.

2009-11-13T11:29:00.003-08:00

omfg survivor is so fucking nice! best player ever. (Y)

2009-11-09T10:09:00.001-08:00

staring out at the window late at night,
thinking thinking,
waiting.
what am i waiting for?
what am i doing?
am i to wait for something that is not going to happen?
day after day,
i walk this road,
this route destined to nowhere,
the same old trees,
same old river,
same old building,
but yet, no longer the same.

2009-11-06T09:04:00.001-08:00

sometimes i dont understand why things happen, and how things can change so fast. but i guess it is what it is. each day i try to live on, for tomorrow and not for yesterday. but unknowingly, the yesterdays are pushing me forward to tomorrows. nothing can explain how i feel inside. deep inside, it sucks. period.

i've put my trust in you
pushed as far as i can go
and for all this
there's only one thing you should know

i've tried so hard and got so far
but in the end it doesnt even matter
i had to fall to lose it all
but in the end it doesnt even matter

2009-10-31T05:16:00.001-07:00

thanks xuan for making me travel! :( and a free ice cream. hmph LOL

2009-10-28T05:56:00.000-07:00

yay. thanks everyone for the wishes! =D thanks 1m03! thanks bastard yx,kevin and vernier too. not forgetting shareena! for the cake :D and anyone else whom i forgot! <3

2009-10-25T12:20:00.000-07:00

sucks. dumb feeling. sucks. omfg. wut. random. zomg. die. /wrist.

2009-10-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

parteh parteh~ +D it has been a great 2 days, even though certain stuffs happen, i would like to say a big thank you to brice and the rest! =D!

after some chat, i realised that 3 of us are somewhat similar. to a certain extend. =( it sucks, i know. sigh. hahaha.

we are here all standing,
deep inside our hearts,
praying for a miracle,
but it always seems so far.

just when we thought it was within our grasp,
just when we closed our hands and open them,
that little hope we caught, swiftly fly away.
high up high up.

fuck that movie. anyway. sigh.

2009-10-12T15:00:00.000-07:00

music being played in the early morning can't be a happy one.
i guess you don't really care.

2009-10-11T12:20:00.001-07:00

waiting for an angel to take me away from all this misery. to bring me to a place where comfort is. to guide me along the path of happiness. i feel so drained this few days. drained of energy. drained of life. lethargic. nostalgic.

why am i so stupid and dumb. i can't believe i'm so weak. sigh.

the thousand droplets of tears,
that falls like the rain,
a moment of despair.
the journey of a life,
filled with sorrows.
i have none but one,
one great regret.

if letting go of something is what one needs to learn how, please someone find me a teacher. i guess time is the only teacher for me. but i cant stand to look myself in the mirror anymore. the sorrowful sorrowful past. i detest it. i fear it. yet, like estacy, i longed for more. mixed and confused. like every other day. i drag my body, my soul to move. i drag it, praying for it to recover, from that senseless day. the day, the day my strongest muscle was stolen from me. the day it was broken. that day, it began.

2009-10-05T06:43:00.000-07:00

it's not as though i don't have any troubles. i'd had a fair share of mine. take care.

2009-10-04T14:42:00.000-07:00

such a long long night..

2009-10-04T07:20:00.001-07:00

i went against everything for you. i did all that i could for you. but no more, no more. i can go no further if you dont acknowledge or appreciate it. there's a limit to everything and i've reached mine. right now, you'd be losing me. and thats all there is to it. you, were on my heart till the very end. up till now, i have no idea why it happened but i guess, this was meant to be. after all that we've done you can't bring urself to trust me and thats that.

this is my last breathe. was my last hope. will be my last chance. and had been what i've hoped for and trusted ever since. but now, no longer.

i will not try anymore.
take good care of yourself.

disappointed & broken.

2009-10-02T08:53:00.001-07:00

it has almost been one year. ): since that day we first held hands. do you rmb?

cant you see how badly i'm missing you deep inside? why must you do this to me? i dont know.. i really dont get it... it has all been going fine, so well. yet you gave up... you din't even let me try, you just... gave up.. completely. sigh. but everyday that pass, makes me realise that.

when someone is gone, you will then realize if you really truely love that person.

i breathe your breath,
i smell your smell.
the words i've said,
the truth inside.
it still stands,
it still stands,
the words of yesterday,
the promises of yesterday,
will still be in my mind tomorrow,
i'm living the past,
i'm living yesterdays

2009-10-01T11:15:00.001-07:00

i don't know why you're doing this, or what you plan to achieve from it. but i guess i can't really do anything. it has always been all up to you. its only a matter of whether you are willing or not, and i guess you're not..

2009-09-30T14:10:00.001-07:00

so hard to sleep, when there's so many things to think about. sighh.

2009-09-26T13:47:00.000-07:00

where are you my dearest. ):
please be selfish and hold on to me :(

2009-09-23T13:12:00.000-07:00

if a man could be at two place at one time
i'd be with you
tomorrow and today
beside you all the way

2009-09-23T09:45:00.000-07:00

can i ask of you to be selfish? just once, for me. for us. be selfish. dont let me go. be selfish, hold on to me. be selfish... sigh.

hold me tightly, and never let go.
take me with you, wherever you go.
i'll hold your hands as you hold mine.
we'll fly to a place far from misery,
to see a place filled happiness once again.
our place.

tell me once more,
your true feelings for me,
hold me,
hold me,
put your trust in me,
as i put mine in you.
to the place where we once were.
our place.

sleepless nights, makes absence harder to cope.

2009-09-22T20:33:00.001-07:00

fuck the dream.

2009-09-22T10:42:00.001-07:00

can't you see how much i love you in my eyes? i dont mind waiting, but i need you to tell me to wait. i need you to assure me. sigh. i love you. from v long ago. every word i said to you then, i meant it. i dont want to let go. i dont want to let go of you.

2009-09-22T05:24:00.000-07:00

i wished you'd show more concern. i wished you'd be more conern. i wished, i wish. it's so hard to remain this way. but i will hang on. i will. but i do hope you'll give me the strength to do so... i need your assurance, i need your words... sigh. but i guess they'll never come.

insecure.

wooo. one piece x)

2009-09-21T13:46:00.000-07:00

everything happens in a flash. the seconds you take to blink, may just be the very last time you'll ever see it again. to (:. don't be sad okay? i've always stand by your side. for so many years, and i will continue to do so. (: just like how you were there for me all the time. smile on. Cause how am i to go on chasing her, without you watching my back? (: whatever you do, i'll support you! :D

=( cant help but wonder if you feel a thing for him. :/ and for tat asswipe. he better keep his hands to himself or imma fuck him upside down.

2009-09-20T23:21:00.000-07:00

throat still hurts after so long. sigh. waking up is so dreadful. feeling the pain everytime -.- wonder what happen. ): ahh. nothing to do today. shall rot rot and rot. sigh. Lost.

i wonder,

if you do care.

i wonder,

if you do bother.

because sometimes,

it seems you're a million miles away.

even though you're just infront of me.

do you feed sweet to every boys?

because that was the sweetest yuckiest sweet i've ever tasted.

i love you.. (:

2009-09-20T12:19:00.000-07:00

so close, yet so far. i dont know if you love me, but i have a feeling you do. but you're afraid to do so. ): i dont know whats wrong. but all i can say is that i will wait, i will hang on. like what i've said last time. sigh.

there was once a boy,
who met this girl,
whom held this girl to his heart,
so dearly,
oh so dearly,

there was this girl,
who met this boy,
whom held this boy to her heart,
so dearly,
she let go of him,
knowing it was best,

then there was that boy,
whom heart was broken,
searching for a remedy,
he found nothing,
he found none.

then there was the girl,
whom did nothing,
but stood from behind,
seeing as the boy falls,
seeing as the boy cries.

then there was the same boy,
who went one circle,
to figure out,
he was in love,
true love,
none other then the heartbeat of the girl and his together.

but there was the same girl,
refuses to give in to the boy,
and avoids the boy.

oh did the boy cried,
he cried like a baby.
with passerbys looking and staring,
he cried.

he was sure,
oh so sure,
he had expectations,
oh so high,
that just by love,
things will be alright.

but things took a turn for the worst,
she had to go to the left, when he was at the right,
she was lost,
but he wasnt,
he wanted to come with her,
to walk the path with her,
to hold her hands whenever she needs him.

if only, the girl knows.
that this boy, that this boy,
doesnt want to be anyone else,
he just want to be held on,
by her.

if only, the girl knows.
that this boy,that this boy,
just wants to spend his time,
with her.

if only, there are if's in this world.

i will wait for you, no matter how long it takes. but will you come back to me then?

2009-09-19T13:55:00.000-07:00

once a pair,
once together,
we shared laughter,
we shared happiness,

the wind that blows,
blows all away.

here i stare,
once whole, now half
here i feel,
once love, now longing

i want you to know,
no matter what,
you will always be the one in my heart,
no matter how,
you will never be forgotten by me,

the wind that blows,
blows me to you.

2009-09-17T13:50:00.000-07:00

if those were for me.. if those were for me, then then! oh my goddddddd, i'm so stupid to not realize it. to not notice it, to not have saw it earlier! ): ahh. stupid silly me!

i want you back.

2009-09-13T12:08:00.000-07:00

good luck (:

i still rmb the time, you wrote about me having a test, :D do you rmb it? :/ it was amaths paper! haahahha, now it's my turn :D, i can't do anything for you, neither can i help you, i'm so sorry ): i feel so useless. rawr.

anywayyyyy, that aside i'm worried ): i hope you'll do well (: but all i can do is pray for you! (: do take care of yourself!

2009-09-11T12:30:00.000-07:00

feels so different, yet so alike. u feel so near, yet so far. ): enjoy ur day tmr.

2009-09-10T10:24:00.000-07:00

pass, passed, passing. so many things, so many things. :D holidays now, and the more free time i have, the more i think of stuffs. stuffs that happened before, and stuffs that are happening, and stuffs that may happen in the future, :/ lots of uncertainties, and lots of worries, but i dont know what to say to ease them all.

i guess the only way that's easiest to say what is inside, is through the song playing now. (:
thank you, for everything, and i hope, i pray, that everything will be alright.

:D if saying loving you through a million ways will make you love me, i'll find two million ways to make you stay.

2009-07-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

no mood, no mood, no mood to do anything. no mood to start on anything. just wanna remain here like this, rotting away. rotting away slowly, how i wish the process could be any faster, that way i'll be gone in seconds.

2009-06-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

thanks for the answers :D i needed them. hahhaa, you take care okay! sorry it became like that anyway :P but its already over i guess (: we can only move on.

anyway, im here to update on the tioman trip! wooohooo. this trip was funny as hell. laughing my ass out every single moment with crazy buddies like wang cong, brice, melvin. omg :D super super fun! and enjoyable.

the first day, when we were on the bus to tioman, it was like so boring ): so i did what i do best... I SLEPT woots! :D and when we reach to the ferry terminal place, and took the ferry there, it was.. so boring.... so i slept again :X then when we finally finally arrive at tioman, i was like :D energy, 100%. so... what did we do on the first day? oh yea, we had our "welcome drinks" aka orange juice. -.- and then we ate? :D the food was........ okay........................... note the dots :D. and we went to our room, and guess what. the assholes in my room were melvin,brice,wangcong.

then we went out to trek, which is like so freaking amazingly boring and cool at the same time, :D because we trek like i think half the island at least? and then we turned around and went back -.- so in the end we gained nothing. hahaha. but it was fun! :D walking with kiwi and malissa and of course wang cong. lool. shit man, wang cong is amazing :D

then when we return, washed up and stuff, and had our dinner. and after dinner we crapped, talk cock, and then came the exciting part :D at night, we go crazy, talking about all sorts of shit. LOL and then brice suggested we rape the girls room :D and so we went, *evil grin*, disturbed them and had lots of fun too :D then we went back to our room and slept like pigs.

the second day, we went snorkeling!! woo, its nice (: though the rain at first scared all of us. the water was clear and stuff, and there were many many fishes! hahaha and i feed them, some nibble my hands :D then we went to one more place for snorkeling. imo it wasnt as nice as the first! :( haha, after snorkeling we went back up and wash up and meet for dinner! it wasnt as nice as expected, and so we went around looking for shops :D satay + burger ftw. dam the satay there is heavenly. hahaa then after that we went to some bar and drink like super light alocohol and LOL malissa is like drunk. hahaha then we all went back to sleep :D

the third day, we went to the waterfall! it sure was fun :D and cooling. even though the current is not as strong as thailand, it is still fun with so many people around you :D so fun to splash water on everyone. hahaaha then we went to fish!! omg man, wang cong attracts fishes. HAHA too bad for kiwi and malissa, no fish likes them :D

then we head back, all chao ta man. lool! and then in the night, we went back to that bar with angie, alody, jessica, kiwi, malissa, melvin,wangcong, brice, me :D hahaha, and ate more satay. muahaha. i think i ate like the most satay :D while angie ate the most stingray together with brice? lol.

then after that, malissa was like KO. LOL and angie was like omg, red red hot hahahhaa dam funny man. then we slowly make our way back to our room and wash up :D after we bathed, the girls came over, except for the drunkard malissa LOL. hahaha and we chatted, chatted shared stuffs about sec school, pri sch , stupid things hahaha :D until we cannot take it, then sleep! :D angie and jessica was like beside me la. woots LOL. *evil grins* :DDD but omg, i forget to mention for the three days so far i feed mosquitoes man -.- haha.

and finally, the last day! :( the last day, we were all kinda down and stuff until we reach the shopping mall, tried to shop for a jeans for brice but it was too ex. so we went to eat instead
hahaha. and then we headed for singapore, home sweeet home (:

pictures will be uploaded soon!!! i promise HAHHAA , im lazy now :D so sorry people!

2009-06-22T10:23:00.001-07:00

i should have said this a long long long time ago, but i guess i was'nt ready. :)

you, yy,

thank you for everything you've done for me. thank you for the memories, and thank you for spending time with me. for all the things i have done, i am sorry to have doubted your feelings, thank you for teaching me how to love, for loving me, i am sorry i was not what you were looking for and i hope you find that special someone soon. thanks for giving me such happy memories. i hope, the memory of me and you stay with you forever, and that you will not forget me. everything i've done for you, i've not regretted it. if i could rewind time, i would not change anything, neither would i stop anything. take good care of yourself yeah? (:

regards, reuben

time really flies, and almost half of my holidays are gone! i went to thailand, phuket with my family. it sure was fun :D i played with my dad's new camera and took over a thousand shots. LOL i think i must be crazy, woohoo. first day when we reached thailand, we did not really do much things but looked for food, as it was too late at night when we reached. :D

the second day, we went to pipi island to snorkel. the boat ride there was, crazy shit. but it was alright for me. though it was raining, causing more shakes to the boat. a old uncle vomited in the sea :/ disgusting sight to see, trust me haha. we snorkeled there and it was fun :D the fishes bited my hair lol!! evil fishes. and the boat ride back, was even crazier shit. rocky as hell, almost making me seasick, but luckily i'm strong >: D

the third day, we went water rafting, elephant riding, ATV riding :S dam, it was fun and enjoyable :D and not to forget elephant massage O.O! literally, lie for the elephant to step on you. ahhaha but the elephant was gentle :D and guess what, my father got kissed by the elephant. hahha shall upload photo some day, :D

the last day, i couldnt wake up hahaha, too tired :D so i slept through breakfast. wooots, then we went to the "town" area of phuket to shop for stuffs! haha we bought lots of foood :D. it sure was fun, to play in phuket :D and we even saw one of the group that went with us to switzerland and italy there! the world is so small, (:

right now, i'm suppose to be sleeping :D waking up at 6 later on, to go to school to go on a trip to tioman! woohoooo there goes my holiday LOL :D i hope i have lots of fun there! to everyone i know, take care (:

love, a league of challenge,

you'll never lose out,

for each challenge,

you'll learn,

something new,

and in the end,

you'll see,

you'll see back,

the lights that disappeared,

the truth within the truth,

and the little things around you,

that brings happiness.

2009-06-20T13:58:00.001-07:00

insomnia

2009-06-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

false hopes and wishful thinking.

2009-06-02T07:21:00.000-07:00

so many things have happened in the days that has passed. time seems to move too quickly for me, how i wish i can have the power to stop time. for the moment of happiness is always short-lived. common test week, study study study! :D hope i can pass all with flying colors woooo hoooo, hahaha

2009-05-26T11:32:00.000-07:00

gone,
gone are the days,
gone are the times,
gone,
never again will they return,
never again will they come back,
but he knows,
he tried,
he knows,
he tried,
was it enough?
only god knows,
was it worthwhile?
only god knows,
you're letting go,
he's slipping away,
this is it,
there won't be another,
this is it,
there's no time for tomorrow,
this is it,
the last goodbye.
iwanttoloveyoubutwe'reworldsapart,youandme,there'sonlyme,thereaintnoyou,

2009-05-24T10:29:00.000-07:00

just like this it's gone,
the touch of your hand,
just like the wind that flows,
before you know it they're gone,
i close my eyes and ponder,
the reason for myself,
the only one i could find,
the only one i saw,
the only one i knew,
i was,
inferior,
oh so inferior, there was no doubt
there were others,
bright,tall
smart,handsome
and then there was the one,
always there,
waiting,
waiting,
for those southern wind,
to blow in his direction,
once again,
he waits,
to no avail,
no avail...

he shall not try anymore,
for he knows,
better now,
for he knows,
nevermore,
for he knows,
pain,
for he knows,
agony,
for he knows,
the closer you are to something,
the further away you are actually.
for he knows,
that promises,
were meant to be brokened,
that lies,
were meant to be said,
for he knows,
everything was,
to no avail
no avail.

2009-05-21T10:57:00.000-07:00

tearing hi

2009-05-19T11:27:00.001-07:00

inferior.

2009-05-17T10:48:00.000-07:00

2009-05-13T01:06:00.000-07:00

I thoughts that are too much,
A hopes that are too much,
M wishing for the impossible,
B i guess it wont happen,
O
R cause i'm nothing,
E nothing to you,
D nothing to them,
. nothing.

Z can't you hear me?
Z the screams inside.
Z can't you hear me?
Z the pain inside.

2009-05-12T23:31:00.000-07:00

sick sick sick!!!!! =(uoyevoliyasinac)=

2009-05-11T12:23:00.000-07:00

going crazy from all of this stuffs! JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS omfg, this jealousy is killing me wtf! why am i feeling this way even if it's impossible!!! ZZZZZZZZZZ it stings like a beeee, why why why!!!!!! it hurts! ): why does it hurt! ): how i wish i can stop this feeling!

2009-05-09T23:06:00.000-07:00

GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

2009-05-09T12:41:00.000-07:00

i've no idea why,
the knifes that pierces,
the pain of
each words,
the pain of
each words,
i'm running away now,
it seems to be the only choice,
it seems to be the only way out,
it seems to be my only salvation.
for i know the impossible will never be possible,
i shall hide,
i shan't seek.
the unfamiliar yet familiar pain,
that seeps back to the heart,
let it bleed,
let it bleed,
for fate is to play,
with dreams of reality.
for fate is to deny,
the dreams of reality.
feign ignorance?
or pure ignorance,
whatever it is, ignorance is bliss.

2009-05-09T10:57:00.001-07:00

emotions taking control ):
i feel terrible

2009-05-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

thinking too much!!!!!!

2009-05-06T08:10:00.000-07:00

i stared infront, with no place to go.
i turned for comfort, but none came.
i strayed from the path, but got lost.

nothing left on the left,
nothing right on the right,
thinking and thinking,
pondering and pondering,

too much, its time to stop
too painful, its time to stop

2009-05-02T12:35:00.000-07:00

surface of the outside,
they stare,
surface in the inside,
they ignore,

Nobody like you,
wanna be like them-
Nobody like me,
wanna be like you-
Nobody like them.
don't wanna stay like me.

cover of a book,
look within
pages of the book,
look within
look within...

facade of life
a empty shell
the heart within
deep inside
the soul that dwells
screaming for your name
turn your head
turn around
look at me
look within...

2009-05-02T10:29:00.001-07:00

cold COLD COLD
WHY AM I FEELING SO GODDAMN COLD INSIDE

2009-05-02T10:23:00.000-07:00

weak WEAK WEAK dumbfuck why am i so weak! fuckshit kill me! ):

2009-04-30T21:11:00.000-07:00

a cycle of truth,
a cycle of reality,
harsh as it may be,
words unspoken,
feelings in a mess.
i choose to find the nevermore,
the darkness that lingers,
the memories that breathe.
the place of discomfort,
the place of suffering,
the place of the past.

words that are said
actions that are carried out
a prayer was spoken,
one with hope
one with joy
one with bliss

never again spoken
never again spoken...

rotting at home and thinking-

Tsuburesou na mainichi
Kujikesou na toki mo
Kimi no yasashisa wa soko ni aru

2009-04-30T09:48:00.000-07:00

2009-04-26T09:28:00.001-07:00

happy :D

2009-04-25T23:55:00.000-07:00

the words of truth,
the words of lies,
was it you,
was it me?

the words you say,
the words i say,
was it you,
was it me?

have i changed?
have you changed?
was it me?
or was it you?

you question,
without an answer.
i ponder,
without a route.

i smiled with you,
i cried with you,
i shouted with you,
i screamed with you,
i played with you,
i laughed with you,

i just want to know,
your views on me.
i just want to know,
what happened.

for the crazy things we did,
for the stupidest things we did,
for the dumbest things we did,
they live in my heart, my mind, my soul
i still love you all! XD

with that said, i hope you catch what i mean ): i don't wanna fight with you all. i just want to know in what way have i changed! sorry for anything i have done. or things that i have said. i want you all to know, i love you guys, lots (:

yesterday night was fun! :X

2009-04-23T11:45:00.000-07:00

woots, finally danced infront of so many people HAHA, was nervous at first but eventually pulled it off. (: i think we did great guys! wooo! ict rocks! xD, making me tired like hell, no idea how i'm going to survive later on! LOL. though we did not win, we sure had fun! HAHA.

TIRED SHIT MAN! GOOD NIGHT!

2009-04-21T09:34:00.000-07:00

so tired, so tired! haha recently i've been learning how to dance for danceforFUNd hahahaha, its so fun man seriously! but tiring as well! everyday come home so late! hahaha school have been slack and fun (: hopefully it stays like this! though i know it wont hahaha sad!

the person,
in that dark street,
the person,
that's moving,
forward not backwards,
but the clouds,
the clouds....
they are following,
a endless route of memories,
that shower the person with rain,
when will the sun rise?

the sun that came,
i opened my eyes
the light that shone,
i see through you
the rainbows of people
the colours of you

2009-04-19T00:16:00.000-07:00

THANK YOU, XUAN! really, thanks :)

2009-04-18T00:08:00.000-07:00

days have passed, induction days are over! aww ): sure had loads of fun! (: the last day of induction was the best, played like crazy, think i've got sunburnts! lol! played with water and got soaking wet! haha, have to really thank all SBS (: we also met our mentor! woots, lastly
<3 my class

and after the best of the induction day, comes the best time spent with people! :X xuan,jingting,aziz,regina and me! went to westmall, ate, SORRY WE CAME LATE ANYWAY! :X and woots, after that was just laughter after laughter thanks to jingting and of course ME LOL. actually the laughter was because of the reaction from jingting and aziz! hahaha. it was dam funny la! laugh-ed like never before! laugh until so hot la! LOL. :X then after that, headed home :D thank you xuan! HAHA